Lately, I have been asking clients this question in my coaching session—from thirteen to thirty-something-year-olds. The question that has stopped them mid-response and had them looking for the right words or hesitant to engage is this: Who do I need to become to achieve my goals?
Some clients gave a generic blanket response because they thought that was what I was looking for, but as a coach, I guide you to your answers, not feed them to you or expect you to answer me as though it was a multiple-choice exam. Through conversation, asking questions, and active listening, I have caught some profound moments and leaned in. Now, some clients shy away from the leaning in experience, but for the most part, they allow me to probe because we have established trust wrapped in humor, candor, and respect. And when they trusted me with that vulnerable moment, we climbed the mountain together. When I see they can stand on their own, I stay back and let them coach themselves to their finish line - it is one of the most rewarding feelings a coach could experience. After sessions, I am either tearing up or high with joy because I saw that discovery and shift in their eyes and determination in their hearts.
As a coach, I love what I do, and it is my goal to touch as many lives as I can. So, at 4:30 a.m. on a Saturday, the same question came knocking at my door: Who do I need to become to achieve my goals? It was a come to Jesus moment for me and I leaned in.
How I have coached my clients through exploring this question and finding a response suitable to them is by asking them, "What are your goals? Repeat them to me." To get to the path that leads to the answer, we take a few steps back and revisit what is fueling them- their target and why it is important to them. Through that, we find ourselves refining our goals, questioning our motivation to confirm if it is truly what fuels us.
That journey of revisitation is another discovery journey that brings about so many deep conversations and call-outs - some direct and others subtle, very welcomed and needed. And let me add that coaching is not always gentle and mushy. All my clients have experienced me holding their feet to the fire, verbal encouragements and abundant reassurance and offerings of apologies and forgiveness not because I offended them but because someone did, and they need to hear the words, "I am sorry." so they can be released from that stronghold.
Coaching is healing through powerful questions and allowing clients to talk it through to their mountaintops. Does it mean I am the best coach out there? No. I have ample room to learn, and the glass will always be half-full to allow room to be poured into it. I love what I do and how I am growing, but the question remains: Who do I need to become to achieve my goals?
Like many, I set goals and give them a foundation of systems and habits to grow from and fall on if I fail. I will not always get it right, but when I fall, I need something to catch me. My goals are extensive and broken into categories. They run from months to decades of completion and are constantly changing because I am growing; life is not constant, and God is the commander of my universe, and I submit to His Lordship and ways without question.
Let's get back to my 4:30am self-conversations.
Concentrating on a blend of personal genuineness, discipline, and strategic transformation and evolution is essential to achieving goals. I recognize the gaps and consciously seek to fill them with the right substance (i.e., people, skills, techniques, relationships, knowledge, etc.). But since we all like lists, I won't bore you with more paragraphs; here are some qualities and perspectives to cultivate:
What is your foundation?: I don't know anything to hold me accountable and grounded aside from my faith in Jesus. He is a source of strength and guidance, and I allow Him to shape my integrity, resilience, and compassion. Whether in my coaching business, sessions, or as a growing Chief of staff, I keep my values at the core, allowing
them to anchor my decisions and help me build positive fruit-yielding relationships with others and have confidence in myself. I may not always get it right with faith, but I know I can turn around when I make mistakes, and through God's mercy, I will be redirected with minimal consequences, if any. So find your foundation just as I found mine and make it firm.
Growth Mindset: I emotionally fall sick and physically bothered when I am not growing. I might not be able to consume information at the rate that others do or have the resources to act quickly or fully when an opportunity comes, but my growth mindset is very apparent, and I will always give it a try. I am always learning, attending some training, and repeatedly listening to Jim Rohn tapes and other teachings. I invest my time, money, and other resources where applicable in myself to better understand and hone skills that will help me experience all my current level has to offer while preparing for the next level.
Stewardship: Wealth is paired with financial independence and the capacity to make a meaningful impact with that level of access. We all need money to make many things happen. Money in any form is a critical tool to have and use according to your responsibilities in the present and your intended future. Learning financial principles—wise investments, budgeting, saving, and managing your earnings responsibly to build wealth with integrity is part of the equation and journey to: Who do I need to become to achieve my goals? I can't pray and wish to be a multi-millionaire when I can't appropriately steward my current income. Wealth is an amplifier, a refiner, and a revealer. It will elucidate who you really are when you have more of it. So before you get to the overflow level, work on how you steward what you have now.
If you are looking for a personal finance coach, look no further; this is my bread and butter. I work with clients on budgeting, saving, and debt management, and I love it very much. Book a complimentary clarity call with me at www.collidingintoplace.com
Boundaries and Self-Care: Balancing these and other habits will demand deliberate time for rest, reflection, and prayer for those who practice prayer. Protecting your faith, well-being, finances, boundaries, and values as you embark on this system and habit-building can help you avoid burnout and stay grounded.
The Circle: Be mentored and submit to discipleship. Surround yourself with allies who share your faith and values—and with others who might have a different perspective - if it is safe enough to learn from them without losing your way. Discernment is paramount here. Plant yourself in environments where you can receive sound perspectives, be held accountable, and be properly encouraged. If you are wiser than the people around you, it's time to level up! Some people might need to be cut off, while others will gladly level up with you. Either way, be intentional, don't burn bridges, and don't keep the bridge open because you are afraid to grow or lose people and would rather keep the peace and die doing that instead of making the mature decision to go the other way.
I talked your ear off enough. I have to go sit with my goals as I answer the question: Who Do You Need to Become to Achieve Your Goals?
If you are looking for a coach to partner with, I am a certified coach focused on executive function coaching, personal finance coaching, and life coaching. Book a complimentary clarity call with me at www.collidingintoplace.com.
Be gentle with yourself,
Celestina
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